“Becoming a father to a son? Man, I’m not sure how good I would be! I don’t have any brothers. I didn’t have my dad around to teach me how to play sports, go fishing, do handyman projects around the house. I was too much of a bookworm—it just won’t work.”


This is something that a young man once said to himself, because his father was absent in his life. He often would wonder how he could give someone an experience that he himself never had. He would often tell me that his preference would be to have daughters, since he had a plethora of females in his family for support. In addition, it would save him the embarrassment of not being as knowledgeable about typical things that men do. (Which meant if he had a son he would have to reach out to other men to show him how to do those things, and thus it could be embarrassing to him and have an effect on his son’s confidence in his ability to do normal “man things”). One thing that I often tell my students is that although you may grow up without certain things, if it’s meant for you to have or to be able to do certain things, God would provide them. Where a father isn’t, there could be an uncle, a friend’s dad, your minister and other church leaders, community mentors, etc. As a professional mentor within higher education, I feel that it is my duty to enlighten my students to see things differently, and in a more positive manner. The best way to do this is to be a solution-focused person, which is something that I often speak of.


All of us are without something. However, it is our duty to access the resources (which many times are at our finger tips) in order to fill that void. Some of the most powerful people to ever walk the earth were presented early on with limits. However, they looked for ways to motivate themselves and persevere. In other words, they stepped out on nothing and got the results they desired!

Now back to the young man.

That was several years ago when he first thought those thoughts. Today, he is a great father to his children, and also works in the community with young men. He is a mentor to both young ladies, as well as young men. He is well respected in his family and in his church. And many times stated that he takes his nephews, sometimes 3 to 4 at a time, out for lunch, to the mall, etc. In essence, in my opinion he has become a Dad both in his profession and in his personal life! By accessing his resources and watching the great role models around him, he proved his initial thoughts wrong. When asking him how he felt now, as opposed to how he did when first sharing his initial thoughts with me a few years ago, he stated that he was “doing the unthinkable”! –

Submitted by William Kincy Coordinator of the Pathways 3MP (Minority Male Mentoring Program)
Wake Technical Community College


“Momma don’t care what people say about you, that you must be a moron, ignorant or an idiot because you can’t talk. Momma don’t care. Momma know when you and the good Lord get ready, sister, you going to be a teacher. You’re going to teach all over this world.”

Maya Angelou was speaking the words her dear Grandmother spoke to her years ago during her childhood when she was mute. While everyone around her chose to tear her apart with their destructive words, her Grandmother chose to build Maya up with hers. People saw Maya in the flesh, a girl who carried a pencil and paper in order to respond. They sought to bring her even lower. But her Grandmother saw Maya in the Spirit and called her higher. She prophesied over her Granddaughter. God had given her charge over Maya placing Maya in her care and placing Maya’s calling on her heart so she would know God’s will over Maya’s life. She was there to teach Maya exactly who she was.

I guess that account spoke to me, as Co-Producer of the Choice Not Chance Documentary, and challenged me to think about my Sons…our Sons…all Sons! Whether it is your biological Son, your brother, your Nephew or your Mentee…when did you tell him who He was? I had to stop and ask myself, when was the last time I prophesied over my Sons? When was the first time? When did I call my Son to a higher place and counter what the world was telling him? Did I ever try to teach him who he really is?

In telling that story, Maya Angelou calls us all to a higher place. She “teaches” us that it is OUR RESPONSIBILITY to prophesy over our Sons and Daughters. We must not just pray for them in private, but pray in their presence. Our Spirit must speak directly to their Spirit and call it up and out.

When little Maya heard what her Grandmother had to say about her future, she thought to herself ‘this poor ignorant woman…doesn’t she know I’ll never speak”? Which made perfect sense because Maya had not talked for years. But faith sees the unseen, believes the unbelievable, and hopes when there is only despair. The power of life and death is in the tongue! So it doesn’t matter that your Son may think you a ‘poor ignorant person’. He may not have the spiritual maturity to get that right now. But every time Maya Angelou won a prestigious award in her latter years, she remembered those words her Grandmother spoke when she was only a child.

Your words will return to him someday.

God created with only His words. And we can choose to create or destroy with ours. The mute who carried a pencil and paper to communicate, went on to become an activist, a singer, an actress, a world renowned poet and to “teach all over the world” just like her Grandmother prophesied! What is your Son’s destiny? Tell him!

by Mindy Fuller